London Youtuber / Out of work actress, Abbie Bela, claims she was recently abducted by aliens after jokingly posting online about her desire to be kidnapped by a flying saucer. Bela claims the event happened after she began having dreams of a “white light,” eventually hearing a voice direct her to “wait in the usual spot.”
Abbie says the next day she waited near her bedroom window for something to happen and was eventually greeted by a bright green beam of light that sucked her into a UFO. Once in the belly of the flying saucer she was greeted by five tall and slender alien beings who, though she could make out their shape, telepathically told her she wasn’t ready to “see them in their true form.”
‘Twas there where she found her true love: A fucking alien. They had a connection that Abbie says felt “like love times 100.” And though she didn’t catch the being’s name, she knew they felt the same fire in their alien genitals that she did. Unfortunately Abbie could only suck E.T’s long glowing finger for 20 minutes before they told her she couldn’t join them on their journey home. And though the alien said he was willing to break the rules just this once, Bela just couldn’t leave her home planet behind. Convenient, right?
Now bound to the “lies and double standards” of human men, Abbie hopes to become a pioneer of interspecies dating and normalize “interplanetary love.” Although she now dwells the lowly Earth as just another completely sane and competent person (obviously), Abbie has not given up on her yearning to be reunited with her knight in glowing armor. She remains hopeful that one day Zoltag will again return to Earth, sweep her into his UFO, and totally pipe her out.