Almost every morning I blog for you ungrateful souls, I lie in bed and see if there’s anything interesting to write about. Once I find something, I’ll save it, go up to my desk and then start writing it. I won’t even have a second thought about getting out of bed. But this morning, I came across this video where a journalist describes the new trend of Americans working from bed. Yup, full on pillow fortress and all, taking Zoom calls and rifling off emails at 2pm on a Wednesday afternoon, all from the comfort of his own bed.
Working from bed is such an undignified habit. You want to do something productive? Be an adult, get your ass out from under the comforter, sit at a desk, have some class, and for the love of God take that God damn Zoom call from anywhere other than your mattress. How can you be productive when you’re literally lying in a place designed to reduce productivity? Do you think Einstein coined the theory of relativity from his Twin XL??
It’s the pussification of America. We used to be a people who smelted iron ore, and walked across ten-thousand foot beams constructing sky-scrapers. That was hard work. Now we chart spreadsheets from the comfort of our duvets. You wanna work from home? Great, I’m all for it. But at least have the human decency and class to get out of bed, first. Even working from a couch is miles more respectable than propping up your laptop on a pillow fortress while taking Zoom calls from underneath your comforter. It’s just sad.
I also am a big proponent of separating “work” and “rest” areas. You wanna turn your mind off and relax? Awesome, that’s what bed is for. Why in the world would I want to stress myself out and do “work” from the same exact place I’ve set up to get away from all that? Not only is working from bed undignified, it’s just plain stupid. People make the argument that “if there’s something hard that needs doing, they like to be as comfortable as possible while doing it.” and sure, while I see the point of that, there’s a difference between “comfortable” and “professional.” If you were in an office, would you show up to work in your boxers? No, I think you’d put on pants… much like you’d do work from a desk instead of your California King. You wanna sit on your bed while crafting an email, or two? Sure. But your boss should not see your headboard in the background of your Zoom call. That’s just absolutely ridiculous.
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