October 6, 2022

The Tap Daily

The Tap Daily is a West Coast based pop culture and entertainment website that features humorous and quick reading articles to keep you up to speed on daily news.

Will Farts Ever not be Funny?

If you’re a man between the ages of 1 and 100 you probably find the various sounds of farts to be the pinnacle of funny. Strike that, most men with a pulse think farts are the most universally hilarious thing a person can do. Farts are funny in all languages, a universal dialect we can all understand with absolute flatulence fluency.

To think farts have been funny since the first caveman hotboxed his tribe’s cave is an amazing feat for farts. The timelessness of passing gas in a loud, obnoxious manner has yet to lose its power and therefore begs the question, will farts ever NOT be funny?

fart

The answer is simple: As long as men exist on this planet, farts will ALWAYS be funny. I don’t care if we eventually find extraterrestrial life somewhere in the universe and join a galactic alliance of intelligent life. If one of the aliens farts at the signing of some space treaty you know every male human being in the room will at the very least be holding back a grin or chuckle.

Come to think of it, if they’re insulted by our laughs then farts may indirectly start an intergalactic war. Thankfully, there’s a higher chance the male aliens will also find farts funny and our harmonious immaturity may just help us find peace in the universe so thank you, farts.

Holy shit listen to that ripper! Pappy’s been holding that bad boy in since the model T first came out. Do I ever expect farts to not be funny? No. Do I think men will mature enough to outgrow finding farts hilarious? Absolutely not. Will we continue to rip absolute cheek clappers in the middle of a conversation and immediately follow that up with a chuckle? Probably. But with great power comes great responsibility. Wield your farts responsibly, gentlemen. Who knows, you might just start a galactic war with a massive shart.

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