Why the NBA Sucks

Historically in the United States, its clear that basketball is one of the most popular and well known sports. However, in recent years, people are starting to realize how shitty the NBA really is. The NFL is far and away the best sport in the United States, followed closely by the NHL and MLB in my opinion. But the MLB just doesn’t do it for me and they’re losing fans like the Raiders after their eventful 2021. Many factors play into this, but overall the NBA just sucks in general….. and heres why.

First off, over the past 20 or so years, the league has become solely based on the presence of super teams. Lets be honest, I think its fun to have great and talented teams that showcase the best players in the league, but why put them on essentially an All-Star team during the regular season? To me, its much more interesting to watch the competition of good teams battling to make a season great. Kind of like watching two midgets in a fist fight.

Would you rather see those two little guys go at it or would you rather see prime time Mike Tyson kick a little person straight in the balls? To me, its clearly the first option. In al seriousness though, super teams are fucking stupid and need to be completely taken out of all sports. Especially in the NBA players just demand trades to their friends teams and totally fuck over the team that has sucked for the past 30 years because their draft picks keep bailing. LeBron is the worst with this and that guy’s a fucking pussy who needs 3 stars around him to win anything.

What else is wrong with the NBA you ask? How about this. They play really loud rap and hiphop music DURING THE GAME. Why would you need to do that? Maybe because the game is nt entertaining? Or the audio guy is three blunts deep in the press box trying to fumble around and find the pause button? Either way, if you have to play music during play to entertain people, your league is a total joke.

Its not even good music too. I’m pretty sure they just shuffle Spotify’s “Top Hits 2021″…… the uncensored version of course. The fans pay for the sport, not the music and the NBA time and time again turns their games into a dumpster fire.

Also, have you ever watched the last 3 minutes of game time in an NBA game? With all the timeouts, fouls and complaining of the players the last 3 minutes on average takes 12-15 minutes of real world runtime. This is a fucking joke. Even if a team have an 8 point deficit with 10 seconds left to play, they still immediately foul or take a timeout.

I can t think of anything shittier than that. I’d rather just watch the first 10 minutes of the 4th quarter then just check The Score app to see what the fuck is going on. Seriously, the NBA can’t figure out how to end a game in a timely fashion and its almost always just a boring shot by their best player that goes in like 15% of the time.

Its always just LeBron dribbling around the 3 point line for 18 seconded then faking a drive, stepping back and missing a 3 to tie the game. The fact that LeBron is still the face of the league and ends every game with a terrible play is hilarious and the ending to every NBA game is worse than the blue balls I had when my girlfriend kept grabbing by dick at Magic Mountain when I was like 14 years old. And that was the worst pain of my life.

NBA players also complain more than the Dance Moms on TV. They all barley get touched and flop on the ground like a fish that just took the bait and you pulled it onto the boat. I can’t put into words how soft they are. Alright, maybe I’m slightly biased because I played hockey since I was 8 years old, but NBA players can’t take a hit to save their life. It honestly rubs me the wrong way overtime they drive the rim and take a minor bump and collapse on the ground like someone that just got shot by a cannon. I thought soccer was bad but fuck man, the NBA is impressively soft compared to a ton of other sports. ts not to say that all the players aren’t tough.

Meta World Peace is one of my favorite players of all time because he was a total shithead who went around punching people in the face. Christ, in the NHL once a player climbed into the stands and beat up a fan with their own shoe. We need more of that in the NBA but the fights are just clothed gay porn in all honestly. Just a bunch of sweaty dudes grunting and rubbing on each others chest.

I guess the NBA isn’t all bad. The girls that go to the games are very attractive and its always fun to see a 7 foot man dive into the stands trying to save a ball and end up taking out an entire row of rich people. Thats always a plus and Shaq’s were always the funniest. That dude was like 400 pounds and could easily kill someone. Could you imagine Lizzo jumping into the stands for a jump ball? that would be next level.