February 6, 2023

The Tap Daily

The Tap Daily is a West Coast based pop culture and entertainment website that features humorous and quick reading articles to keep you up to speed on daily news.

What Your Toilet Paper Says About You

Lets face it. Toilet paper is an everyday necessity we all use on the regular. Some brands are meant for comfort while others are meant for cost effectiveness. Whatever toilet paper you use says a lot about you as a person, your morals and overall personality. It is important to note that people can put on a facade at times, but what toilet paper a person uses really brings out their true colors.

Man sitting on a toilet.

If you use low ply toilet paper, you are focused on the cost and probably are very economical with your purchases. People who use sandpaper-like toilet paper tend to not care what other people think. I myself used this style paper all throughout college for financial reasons, and my youthful asshole paid the price. Understanding the importance of comfort is key here and I believe people who use the rough stuff tend to focus more on money than their own well being.

Store brand paper is hit or miss. Occasionally you can get soft, plush paper that is soothing and relaxing. Other times, you can find wood chips lodged inside wreaking havoc on the sensitive skin of your butthole. Either way, store brand paper doesn’t allow you to have peace of mind while purchasing the item. For me, I always worry that I could injure myself while wiping by not knowing the softness before the first use. Tread lightly with store brand paper.

Lastly, UltraSoft toilet paper is the way to go. People who buy this style of paper value not only their own health and safety, but also their visitors. It’s almost like having a fine China dish set, you always want it used with guests around. I can’t think of a better and more welcoming feeling than using the soft stuff. While absorbent and durable, the paper offers the cozy feeling you get while sitting next to a fire and cup of hot chocolate on Christmas morning. People who use this toilet paper just get it, you feel?

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