Ahhhh, tis the season to have so many questions about egg nog… namely, what the fuck is it and why is it so popular? So I decided to look it up and I was kinda surprised after reading the first sentence… “historically also known as a milk punch or a holiday sludge” I’m sorry, “milk punch” or “holiday sludge” has to be the absolute worst name for a drink I’ve ever heard of. I mean who was naming these drinks and thought sludge was an appealing way to drive up brand awareness? Tough break for team egg nog, there. The description goes on to break down “holiday sludge” as a “rich, chilled, sweetened, dairy-based beverage. It is traditionally made with milk, cream, sugar, whipped egg whites, and egg yolks.” Pretty much just sounds like an eggy milkshake, right? So why did it taste so bad that one time I tried it?
I, for one, like my eggs scrambled, not nogged.
So now I have some other questions… Where do you even get egg nog? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it on a menu. Is it in the grocery store? Am I just supposed to make it myself? Why is it such a popular holiday tradition when I seriously can’t name a single time in 23 Christmases that I’ve ever been in the same presence as it?
Is there supposed to be alcohol in egg nog? What’s the point of throwing eggs in your milkshake if I can’t get boozy with it? Seems like the “kitchen sink” of holiday drinks so we might as well throw some rum and bourbon in there while we’re at it. It can’t possibly taste great to begin with so it’s not like alcohol will ruin any flavor.
And why can I only get it between November 27th and December 25th? Seriously, it’s like this drink disappears from everyone’s consciousness the other 335 days of the year. Let me know if you try it, sometime. Hot seat this Christmas, egg nog.