Welcome Back Football: I’m Ready To Lose All My Money

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. NFL football is back and better than ever. We kicked off the season with a shootout in Tampa where Tom and Dak showed how big their dicks are. As happy as I am that football is back, am I ready to lose all my money again on bets? Yes…. Yes I am.

I have a proven history of making fucking terrible bets. It’s pretty consistent and I know it happens every single weekend. At least I know what to expect. For me personally, I like football but only have a vested rooting interest if I have money on the line. Once I put a bet down, I’m the biggest fucking bandwagon in the room. Who isn’t? I have Ade the educated and informed decision to only bet the opposite of what I’m thinking. This shows that I’m seriously invested in my financial future, which is why I’m willing to risk it all on a game by game basis.

Moving forward, I will make the following changes to make sure that make the most out of my money:

1. Always take Brady’s under for passing yards
2. Always take the Lions team total over
3. Double down on Jameis Winston throwing 0 interceptions

For me, these are all slam dunks and will for sure not hit. That tells me should make a shit load of money. Enjoy, my fellow degenerates.