Have you ever had an experience like this? It’s a Tuesday night and it’s that time of the month where you need to go buy your extra-ply toilet paper in bulk. You walk into your local chain-department store, (pick your poison) and you approach a uniformed employee. You’re too embarrassed to ask where the extra-thick shit paper is so you lead off with, “Excuse me could you direct me to the bathroom accessory sect…” Oh my god. A complete bombshell with an extra built in shelf behind her pauses from stocking shampoo to catch your gaze. You’ve just come face to face with another sexy department store lady. If you know what I’m talking about, here are the top 5 department stores with the hottest employees.
1.) Home Goods- This one isn’t as obvious but you get a real mother goose vibe from these employees if that’s your bag. There’s going be a lot of “Right here sweetie, you just lay that down right here.” If that turned you on, then you’re catching my drift.
2.) Bed Bath & Beyond- You could say these employees know their way around the bed, the bath, and far beyond. They really know how to pamper themselves with all the various oils and potions this store wants you to rub on yourself. One would assume they are cleanest department store employees out there.
3.) Kohl’s- Highly slept on. Little trade secret, Kohl’s recruits top sorority performers from around the country. One could say Kohl’s is the Goldman Sachs of department stores.
4.) Sam’s Club- If you have any doubt about this pick, who do you think Sam is? And why do you think they call it his club? Yeah, exactly. They know what they’re doing.
5.) Target- The Mecca for dump trucks in khakis. It’s hard to know where Target recruits their talent, or if they might possibly be bending some of the recruiting rules, but they are the best in the game. Next time you’re in just walk the floor, ask for a random assortment of products and see what I mean. The only pitfall of Target is the thirsty Target boys that want to hoard all the Target women for themselves. Sorry bud, back to work.