Top 5 Cars You Can Own Now That Make You Look Like A Douche

If you are like anyone else living in LA you probably spend a depressing portion of your life sitting in traffic. One hard truth that cannot be denied is that while you sit in this sea of cars, you can’t help but notice people’s compatibility with their own vehicles. It seems as though sometimes certain cars attract certain buyers, and you began to ask yourself, “Did they pick this car or did it pick them?” The resemblance of a person to their car is not always negative, although there are some that bare the worst reputation. This has nothing to do with the cost of your car; it is purely a statement on your personality. From my experience on the roads, these are the top 5 cars you can own right now that make you look like a complete douche.

Disclaimer: this car must be white/bright red to fit this characteristic. If you drive this car there should be serious concern for your safety and the safety of others. The likelihood of you being a terrible driver is high with this vehicle, and has a high likelihood of crashing due to poor judgment on the driver’s part. For the most part this car as driven by teenage girls, and middle-aged women who have gone viral for kicking minority children out of their apartment complex’s pool.

This car’s driver is a complete mystery. Why someone would choose this car is, or who would choose this car is completely baffling. These cars are often seen with Assassins Creed bumper stickers, and in some fun color like lime green or fuchsia. It is almost certain that this car has a few stale McDonald’s fries lying around under a seat, and may have a steering wheel knob. This car gives overall un-wiped butt vibes.

It is not entirely clear if this connotation between driver and car is completely negative here. You either see the irony in driving a car of this type, or you don’t and you’re a middle-school band teacher. This car is shaped like a nose and it’s a convertible. And why does this car always come in the same depressing color?

Apologies to Elon Musk, and any number of people you know that drive this car. But if you drive this car I might assume you are an arrogant prick. This doesn’t go deep; it’s purely the aesthetic that drives my rage.