Top 5 Alcohol Brands This 4th of July Weekend

If you are planning on getting as hammered this 4th of July weekend as I am, you need to go with what is hot right now.  Whether you are trying to impress a chick or not throw up on your grandmother’s patio furniture, all these brands below are safe bets to get you where you need to go.  These are my top 5 alcohol brands you need to drink this weekend that are as hot as Nsync in 1998:      

1. Tito’s American Vodka

You can’t get more patriotic than supporting a tried and true American brand.  Tito’s mixes perfectly with anything and has the name recognition to back it up.  Any girl will love it, and most alcohol drinkers keep it in the daily rotation.  You can’t go wrong with Tito’s and there is a 46% chance you’ll get laid. 

2. Cutwater Cocktails

Cutwater is a new, up and coming vodka-based seltzer that is perfect for day drinking.  They have an assortment of flavors that everyone enjoys and work well for day or night situations.  Be cautious, as some of these canned cocktails have almost 15% alcohol that goes down like water.  

3. Ketel One Vodka

This is, in my opinion, the best vodka on the market.  Goes perfect with everything and if you’re looking for a cougar this is a slam dunk.  However you may have to stand your ground as Ketel is from the Netherlands so just get drunk enough to get in a fight and defend yourself against pissed off 21 year olds whose dad just bought them a Tesla online. 

4. American Beer

This one’s self explanatory.  If you don’t have at least 5 American beers of any brand on the 4th you’re a total asshole. 

5. Casamigos 

I included this specifically to help everyone hit on chicks who are significantly out of their league.  Just pretend youre George Clooney, pop open a bottle of one of the best tequilas out there, and come up with the best off the top pick up lines you can muster up.  Tequila is the only alcohol that is an upper, so prepare for the high energy and full send.