Skateboarding legend Tony Hawk is selling skateboards infused with his blood. And it’s not just a few drops, an entire vial of Hawk’s blood is mixed into the paint decorating the deck. One of a kind and limited (having made only 100) the boards are being sold for $500 apiece.
First of all, who’s buying this shit? The people buying these boards aren’t Tony Hawk fans, their fucking vampires. Blood thirsty vampires, that’s the only logical explanation. You really think a skater kid would buy this then go to the skatepark to compare boards like: “mY boArD hAS TonY hAwKS BloOd iN iT.” No! That would be weird! The kid would probably his ass beat for being so weird.
This trend of putting blood in shit needs to stop. It’s not cool, it’s gross! And weird as shit! Did we learn nothing from the catastrophe that was Lil Nas X’s human blood shoes? At least Lil Nas X had his whole satan rebranding going on.
But Tony Hawk… the dude is 53 years old, he’s too old to be doing shit like this. This might have been cool 20 years ago during the punk rock and outlaw skateboarding era, but it’s 2021, and putting blood in things just to sell it is both weird and gross. This is a PSA to keep your blood where it belongs!
Anyways, if you’re a vampire and want a board they’re on sale now.