Throw Your Life Savings on the Lighting Tonight

Throw all the money you have in your savings on the Tampa Bay Lightning tonight. Seriously, all of it. Doesn’t matter if you don’t know jack shit about hockey or if you’ve never even looked at a piece of ice before, let alone skated on it. The Tampa Bay Lighting will not lose this game.

Right now the odds are sitting at -230 ML for Tampa Bay and +190 ML for Montreal. What does this mean for those who have gambling dyslexia? It means Tampa’s a fucking lock. The Lightning return home to Amelia Arena after taking a tough loss in OT Monday night back in Montreal. And while they outshot the Canadiens 35 to 21, a few rung posts and an 0/5 power play left a window for Montreal which they capitalized on with an overtime winner.

Why is it such a lock for Tampa? Well to start the odds are heavily in their favor, historically speaking. Since 1942 no team has come back from a 3-0 deficit to win in the cup finals. Combined with Tampa’s -2500 odds to win the series with their current lead it’s clear nobody in the hockey world expects them to lose the series. But returning after a frustrating loss to a home crowd and every seat with an ass in it, there’s not a chance in hell they blow this.

So clear your savings. Sell the house. Sell the kids (buy them back with your winnings). Sell your body. Do whatever you have to and throw a gold brick on this game. Bolts in 5. LOCK.