So, the other day, I was introduced to the legend that is the Portillo’s cake shake. What is the Portillo’s cake shake you might ask? Well, there’s this restaurant in Chicago known as Portillo’s and while they’re known for their hot dogs and steak sandwiches they also *allegedly* put an ENTIRE CHOCOLATE CAKE SLICE into their milkshakes.
What kind of diabetes inducing, sadomasochist-type person do you have to be to order (let alone think of) a chocolate milkshake that includes a HEAVY slice of chocolate cake mixed into it?!? I mean this is just ridiculous. So at the same time, I’m in. I’m very in. Let me have a taste of that cake shake. Let me try and take down that beast of a concoction. Milkshakes are practically desserts already, so what’s the harm of throwing a FAT slice of cake in there anyway? I want to sip this shit, die, and go to diabetes-induced chocolatey heaven.
Granted, everyone who has told me about the Portillo’s Famous Cake Shake has either been obese or has said that once they ate it, they felt their heart almost stop and they didn’t eat again for the rest of the day. One Portillo’s cake shake contains a rough estimate of about 1500 calories. Suuuuuuuuper great for all our health nuts out there.