Every Halloween there’s some asshole who tries to be “clever” and use the latest trends as a basis for their shitty Halloween costume. Here are the ones I am least looking forward to running into when I’m out on my Halloweekend bar crawls.
The Covid Vaccine – Ooooh how clever you are going around asking people if they want you to “stick it in” them. You must be the real life of the party. Why don’t you take your shitty “Mikey Moderna” or “Phil Pfizer” costume and stick it up your ass. Covid is over, can’t I just go out and enjoy my halloween in a bar… with other people… not have to be reminded by your shitty take on it?
Alec Baldwin – from what I’ve heard, he hasn’t been having a great last couple of weeks. I just don’t think it’s right to unholster this costume.
YouTuber Couple – they’re already annoying in real life, there’s no reason to be glorifying them any further. If anyone shows up trying to “vlog” my costumed, drunken stupor, I will promptly be knocking that camera out of their hand and on to the dirty floor of whatever God foresaken club I end up at early Sunday morning.
Van Lifer Chick who was, unfortunately, recently found mysteriously deceased in the Big Sky wilderness – it’s poor taste, guys.
Alex Trebek – let the man rest in peace. Ferrell is the only one who can dress up like Trebek and get away with it.
Anything relating to Squid Game. Please for the love of God, don’t show up in a green tracksuit and expect everyone to be so impressed with “how original” you are. We get it… you’re up to date on Netflix and you’re “cool.” Next, you’re going to ask me to meet for dinner at 1212, because that’s the type of “trendy” person you are… fuck off.