IT’S ALIVE! McDonalds is once again reviving its most controversial menu item for the 40th year in a row… The McRib is back, people. For some reason McDonalds decided the hit or miss sandwich was polarizing enough to make yet another triumphant return to restaurant locations announcing the McRib will once again be available to destroy colons starting November 1st. Now we all know how wildly talked about the sandwich is around the U.S., but have you ever actually met someone that’s said “I love the McRib”? The fuck I hope not.
If restructured pork meat in the shape of an artificial rack of ribs slathered in double sugar barbecue sauce makes you want to sit in line at McDonalds and gullet down your guilty pleasure, so be it. You do you. Just know the rest of us McDonalds enthusiasts now hate you for it because the McRib has and always will be the grossest sandwich sold at McDonalds.
Personally I’d rather take a McFist up my ass than gobble down restructured pork meat they label the McRib. If a robber had my family tied up on their knees in my house and said he’d shoot them unless I polished off a full McRib right in front of him for some sick pleasure he gets watching grown men eat pork sandwiches, I’d still probably debate doing it.
I’m not saying I’m mightier than thou, after all I do eat McDonalds on a regular basis and let’s face it, half the shit on their menu is restructured meat. All I’m saying is if you eat the McRib, I’m better than you. Don’t smear your family’s good name by ordering a McRib, but if you must, consume it in secret and never reveal your sin to the world. Bless you.