If I’ve learned anything from podcasts and Netflix documentaries, it’s that cults are generally a bad idea for those involved. Whether it be Jonestown, Heaven’s Gate, or the Branch Davidians, blindly following someone that claims to know the will of God can lead to some less than ideal scenarios. However, there is a group out there today that claims to be creating their own god of sorts. The Holy Order of the Claw is an organization supposedly dedicated to creating a “Leviathan lobster god.” Essentially, if given the right circumstances, lobsters will never die of old age, and this group plans to care for one of the crustaceans over several generations in order to create a new oceanic shellfish diety.
At a glance, The Holy Order of the Claw seems like a joke. I mean, it’s hard to even say their name without cracking a smile. The order’s website even includes “The Holy Clawmandments,” which include never eating raw broccoli on a Thursday. However, they stream sermons on YouTube every Saturday morning and are open to online one-on-one confessionals. Likewise, they’ve even posted a video of one of their members being baptized into the order.
While the current following may be small, The Holy Order of the Claw certainly knows how to put on a show. Personally, I feel like this is less of a legit cult, and more of an obscure gathering of internet trolls that want to be part of a community that cares about them. Nevertheless, if the plans to create a Leviathan Lobster God succeed, we could be looking at some big menu changes in seafood restaurants over the next couple hundred years.