Everyone’s faced this situation before. You’re in line at a drive thru and ask for a Coke but hear the dreaded words “we only have Pepsi.” You then become outraged, screaming horrifically graphic things into the drive thru microphone out of shear frustration, only to have the employee say back “I know.” One cannot simply be a Coca-Cola loyalist and switch to Pepsi. No, there’s a clear difference between Coke and Pepsi fans and I think we all know if you say you like both, you’re either lying or the next Ted Bundy.
So how do you respectfully spot a fan of Pepsi and Coke without knowing the content of their soda cup? Easy. While Coke fans prefer to drive a Mercedes or luxurious cars, Pepsi fans love a good ride in a Prius. Coke fans like a steak and seafood dinner, but Pepsi fans are vegan and gluten free. Coke fans wear suites to a business meeting while Pepsi folks wear jorts. Coke guys get in the club as VIPs while Pepsi dudes sit in line for 3 hours.
There’s a clear difference here and if it isn’t obvious by now I don’t envy the guy who has a pallet that prefers a Pepsi as their first choice. That’s just criminal behavior and it must be stopped. You cannot exist on both sides of the force. You must pick your poison, literally, and stick with it like the rest of us who have been drinking Coca-Cola products since we were still shitting in a diaper (last week for me). Be normal. Drink Coca-Cola or face being the odd one out for the rest of your life. And don’t even get me started on Sierra Mist fans. The fuck’s wrong with you?!