The Demise of Jerry Springer as ‘Judge Jerry’

Jerry Springer’s new show, ‘Judge Jerry’ has just been renewed for its 3^rd season.  Hearing that this show has been renewed for a new season is almost as surprising as finding out that this show exists.  After 27 years of providing this country with daytime television smut, Jerry quietly called it quits from the show. 

Within the last year Jerry has somehow resurrected himself as a judge, and if ever there was a question about the merit of other said daytime television judges, here is your answer.

Unfortunately, somewhere in the last year Jerry has apparently found a conscience and has totally lost his piece-of-shit nature that we love him for.  What was once an open battleground for teenage parents to physically abuse each other on camera is now a relatively tame courtroom with no hair pulling, and no ‘Jerry!’ chants.

Civil disputes between landlords and tenants is far less appealing than first cousin couples birthing children of races other than the father’s.  It calls into question what motivated Jerry to make this change?  Jerry very well may have reached an age where he began to question the moral implications of his show, especially after one his shows resulted in murder (look it up.) 

The most probable reason is that Jerry might actually still be a piece of shit, and is trying to squeeze every last dollar out of his name by reprising himself as the least-trustworthy judge of all time.  Even Jerry knew his show was a smut-fest, in a 2016 interview with Entertainment Tonight Jerry admitted the show had “no redeeming value.”  And Added, “I just do it because it’s fun to do.”  So, Jerry might be even more of a scumbag than initially thought.  Week after week this man sat in a room and asked for the most depraved people in this country to come on and smash each other’s faces in while being cheered on by a crowd of drunken college kids, simply because it was a fun thing for him to do.  Genius.     

Despite the moral implications of the Jerry Springer Show, it is really fucking entertaining.  What would our familiarity with paternity tests be if it were not for Jerry?  And how else would we know what an adult baby is?  Jerry turned a spotlight on all the freaks and lowlifes that comprise most of this great country, and subliminally told his viewers, ‘Hey, I’m a piece of shit, they’re pieces of shit, and so are you.’  This is not necessarily a call to bring back the Jerry Springer Show, what was once may never be again.  But is this show really the answer?  American’s want to see the nitty-gritty; we want to see the blood and the titties.  Jerry was the purveyor of this unadulterated sex/violence that we as a country have been bred to crave.  For this reason, I see no reason for Jerry unless it’s through the Jerry Springer Show; you can miss me with this judge nonsense.  And by the way, you look like an idiot Jerry.