The Cowboys bringing their own heated bench is such a power move

Yesterday, the Cowboys (America’s most hated football team), pulled an absolute power move in their game against the Washington. Instead of coming into the game and sitting on the usual stadium provided benches, they actually brought in their own custom benches to be used on the sidelines of Sunday’s game.

That’s right, they had their own heated benches built and shipped in specifically for the game. How insulting is it to go into another team’s home and literally shit on them by bringing your own fucking benches? It’s literally like telling the other team their facilities suck so much, their benches aren’t even good enough for their own asses to sit on. This was such a power move and I’m all here for it. Plus, it was 47 degree day in Washington, hardly heated bench weather. So you know, this was some Jerry jones billionaire-tycoon-psychological mind game trick.

That’s going to be my new power move. Next time I have a job interview, I’m going to have my own desk and chair built and shipped right to my interviewer. Then they’ll have to think twice about who’s really in charge. Their mind games must’ve played out in the end, as the Cowboys bested Washington 27-20.