There’s nothing better after a full night of drinking than chowing down on some drunk food. Drunk food slaps no matter what it is: tacos, pizza, the old half-eaten bag of potstickers at the back of your freezer. For the intoxicated, it all tastes good.
But what if I told you, you were missing out on the GREATEST drunk food ever. And it’s not something easily found in the US but is a staple everywhere else across the world. I’m talking about the kebab. And I don’t mean the chicken on a stick that your dad grills over labor day. I’m specifically talking about doner kebabs.
Seasoned meat stacked onto a turning rotisserie is cut away and rolled into a hot flatbread with lettuce, tomato, onion, and dripping with the best sauces you’ve ever had. You haven’t lived until you’ve stumbled your way home while feasting on this hot delicious middle eastern burrito.
Now it’s not like kebabs are completely absent from the US. There are kebab places, but they all close at the ungodly hours of 6 and 8 pm. This is unacceptable! The ideal time to eat kebab is between the hours of 1 and 4 am! Once the bars have closed, the kebab stands must open!
Who needs to invest in crypto when there is a whole untapped market for drunk kebabs in the US? Mark Cuban, if you’re reading this, please invest. The United States need kebab! Land of the free and home of the kebab!