November 26, 2022

The Tap Daily

The Tap Daily is a West Coast based pop culture and entertainment website that features humorous and quick reading articles to keep you up to speed on daily news.

Thanksgiving Foods Ranked

Thanksgiving is less than three days away and if you’re like me, you’re already fasting in preparation to eat yourself into a food coma. We’ve ranked the dishes we are least and most exciting for.

6. Turkey

This is a controversial pick to put last, but be honest. When is the last time you had turkey and thought “wow this is delicious”? Never. Because turkey just isn’t that good. That’s why we only eat it once a year. And if you think this dry ass bird is good, it’s only because you are drowning it in gravy. It’s the gravy you like, not the turkey. 

5. Stuffing

I really don’t understand the hype around this weird bread casserole. Yeah, it’s okay. But nothing to freak out over.

4. The Vegetable Side Dish

This could be green beans, brussel sprouts, spinach, any vegetable really and it’s delicious! Just not what I want to eat on Thanksgiving. I am here to be a fat fuck and stuff my face with heavy comfort food, not a healthy bitch with a plateful of vegetables.

3. Mac and Cheese

If there’s any dish that will push you over the edge, it’s gonna be your second serving of Mac and cheese. And it’s going straight to your ass and the mountains of cheese will clog up your arteries but it’s 100% worth the heart attack.

2. Mashed Potatoes

Is there anything more perfect than pillowy mounds of potatoes that you could stuff your face in? The clouds of heaven are made up of mashed potatoes. This is the quintessence of the thanksgiving side dishes and as American as the bald eagle.

1. Bread

Cornbread, bread rolls, biscuits this is what you’ll have the most of on your plate and what you’ll have to go back for seconds, thirds, and fourths. They can be topped with butter, cranberry sauce, gravy, or eaten plain and they are still delicious. Bread is the best because bread will never let you down. It doesn’t matter how overcooked the turkey is or how clumpy the mashed potatoes are, the bread will always be good and that’s why they’re the king of Thanksgiving.

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