A debate that often ends in confusion. Should you wear underwear with board shorts or swim trunks? Before arriving at a reasonable conclusion let’s layout some ground rules. First, if your swim trunks have built in netting and you decide to wear underwear underneath anyways, you’re a psychopath. Would you wear two pairs of underwear with your pants on? NO! That’s like throwing two condoms on just to be safe. Underwear with built in netting’s overkill, buddy. Only thing that happens in that situation is you swim around feeling like a baby with a full diaper weighing you down when your double stuffed underwear soaks up half the hot tub water.
So what would be the benefit of wearing underwear with your swim trunks? Well there’s the comfort factor, to start. Commando’s not for everyone. It’s an acquired taste, like drinking your first beer. So if people wear underwear because it feels like the “norm” they’re used to, I understand. It’s definitely a feel thing. That being said, let’s focus on the biggest downside of wearing underwear underneath which is the fact that your crotch is gonna feel like it’s wearing a weighted vest. The whole point of wearing swim trunks is because they’re made out of non- absorbant materials to allow the trunks to quickly dry. However the cotton containing underwear you’re packing underneath will soak up more pool water than a Maxi Pad. Comfort only lasts as long as you stay out of the water which is why underwear with trunks is ultimately not the move.
So should underwear be worn with swim trunks? Absolutely not. Commando is the way. It’s how God intended man to enjoy basking in the sun: With our balls out, respectfully. If you’re worried about chaffing or rashes, get a better pair of board shorts and stop making excuses for your Kirkland brand Hawaiian themed throwaway trunks. Swim trunks are meant to be worn with your balls as free as Bill Cosby is now. Don’t like the commando feel? Then get a pair with built in underwear. But regardless of what you do, please for the love of God just don’t wear gym shorts in the water. It’s not being versatile, you’re just cheap.
What’s worse: getting stuck at the top of a roller coaster, or derailing from a roller coaster?
Tiger Woods Video Games are Back!
Hot take: Zoos are overrated