May 28, 2023

The Tap Daily

The Tap Daily is a West Coast based pop culture and entertainment website that features humorous and quick reading articles to keep you up to speed on daily news.

“Short King Spring” Mid-Season Review

man in black jacket and hat walking near body of water

Photo by Marina Gr on

Alright, we’re just over halfway through Short King Spring 2022 and as a “vertically-challenged” grown-adult man, I gotta say… it’s as disappointing as ever. I was expecting the heavens to open and us “vertically-challenged” men to be treated for once with the dignity we deserve, (maybe a little random “go off Short King” here and there would be nice). But instead, we’re treated to memes about being flung off a bedspread and constant jokes about how we, quote, “don’t get bitches.” Is it a Napoleon complex? Maybe. But at the end of the day, what was supposed to be our spring, has just turned into another opportunity to make fun of us “short heads.”

a man in black vest and shorts wearing sunglasses
Photo by Nagy Szabi on

It’s all hype… I have yet to experience one benefit from “Short King Spring.” Forget benefits, I haven’t even experienced “equality.” I’m still treated like a second class citizen, purely because I’m under 6ft tall. I go to sit at a baseball game and I can barely see over the massive man in front of me. And as much as I love chicken nuggets, no, I would not like a Happy Meal!

Veterans get discounts at Starbucks, people looking for deals on a luxury SUV can enjoy the “December to Remember” sales event…. I feel like men under 5’8 should at least be able to get 20% off everything during Short King Spring. It’s only fair, right? Any dudes under a certain height at the bar should get free beers for the entire duration from March 20th to June 21st. That’ll really be a way to raise up and celebrate our “short kings.”

When do I actually get to reap any benefits? Everyone talks a big game for “Short King Spring” but unfortunately, it seems like Short King Spring has not lived up to the hype.

%d bloggers like this: