Okay, it’s that time of the year again. Leaves are changing, sweaters are emerging and every food on the planet is getting the pumpkin spice treatment.
It started with pumpkin spice lattes (the basic white girl fall drink). Then slowly evolved to pumpkin spice muffins and now… I’ve even seen,,, pumpkin spice ravioli. It would be one thing if pumpkin spice actually tasted really, really good. But the unfortunate fact of the matter is that year after year, pumpkin just falls flat. It’s such a bland flavor and unless you dress it up with butter, sugar and cinnamon, (pumpkin pie is decent) it really shouldn’t be anywhere near all the foods we try to force it in.
There, I said it, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, muffins, scones, whatever concoction some mad scientist decides to fuse it with… are OVERRATED. It’s not good and it’s certainly not worth the hype. I’ve tried pumpkin spice lattes before and they are so awful. There’s no real reason at all to fuse a seasonal gourd with my coffee.
Every fall I try something “new” with pumpkin and every fall I’m disappointed. Yeah my mom’s pumpkin bread is amazing, but that’s because she stuffs it with as much cinnamon and sugar as possible to alleviate the blandness from all the actual pumpkin flavor (or lack thereof).

Nevertheless, like the blind consumer I am, following the trends, this year, I decided to try Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Tortilla Chips (I want whatever drugs the marketing department at Trader Joe’s was smoking because who the fuck thought to put together that combination?).
Guess what, these chips tasted like absolute doo-doo. It was such a weird blend of flavors. You couldn’t eat the chips alone because they tasted like stale pumpkin bread. You couldn’t dip it in any Salsa or guac because then the dip would cut weird with the baseness of the pumpkin spice. And you couldn’t mix it with cinnamon sugar because who wants sweet chips? This is a perfect example of a trend going too far.
Take a stand with me and just say enough with all the pumpkin spice already. Get a muffin, or even a scone. But God forbid I see you with pumpkin spice hummus, I’m going to slap it out of your hand.
More Stories
What’s worse: getting stuck at the top of a roller coaster, or derailing from a roller coaster?
Tiger Woods Video Games are Back!
Hot take: Zoos are overrated