Product Review: Michelob ULTRA Seltzers

Summer is in full swing, and there’s no better way to beat the heat than to crack a crispy cold one after a long day of work. Hard seltzers have swept the nation over the last few years, and in January of 2021, Michelob Ultra decided to join the party. Current flavors include Peach Pear, Cucumber Lime, Mixed Berry, Spicy Pineapple, Citrus, and Mango Apricot. Apparently, Michelob thinks bigger is better when it comes to combining flavors, but with zero sugar and zero carbs, these dietary sons of bitches might be on to something.

If you asked me what I thought of Michelob ULTRA a few years ago, I probably would’ve laughed, said some stupid shit about how it’s “pussy beer,” and recommended a hazy IPA like the sophisticated gentleman I believed I was. Fast forward through college and suddenly laying off the heavy stuff didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Personally, I think Mickie Ultras taste pretty good for a beer with only 95 calories. However, can their new seltzers keep up with the rapidly expanding competition, while remaining true to the guilt-free promise their brand is known for?

As I write this review, I am casually sipping on a Mickie Ultra Peach Pear flavored seltzer. What stands out is its lack of overly sweet flavor, which many other seltzer brands boast. Don’t get me wrong, it still tastes like peaches and pears, but with zero grams of sugar, it feels like the perfect drink to sip in the sun without worrying about unexpected headaches or blackouts. While Michelob ULTRA beers contain, 95 calories, the seltzers only have 80, which has got to be good if you’re trying to maintain that summer bod. The only qualm I have with the Mickie seltzers is that the ABV rests at 4%, which is in no way bad – but you may have to drink your whole 12 pack to get where your friends are after 7 Claws/Trulys (Trulies? Truly’s? Idk).

After much consideration, I do believe I will be drinking more of these beverages before the summer comes to a close. Many more in fact. For my score, I give the Michelob ULTRA Seltzer a 7 out of 10.