Only the strong survive, and by survive I mean make it out of Best Buy with a half off flat screen TV in one piece. On the busiest shopping day of the year it’s important to remember two things: Only the dedicated will be there early enough for the best deals, and soccer moms will put anything heavy in their purses to swing at you. But nobody’s off limits on Black Friday.
Everyone’s fair game, especially that soccer mom who’s willing to take a chunk out of your skull so that her spoiled 14 year old can get a Playstation from Santa this year. Like any big game in sports, preparation is key. This Friday’s no different and for that here’s some tape to study the strategies and moves of your opponents.
It’s wartime, and much like real war you’re gonna have to do some questionable things to get what you need for little junior this year, and by little junior I mean your single lazy ass who’s trying to build out your gaming setup (don’t worry, so am I). So this Friday remember one thing: Nothing’s off limits. Go for the balls. Body slam that soccer mom with a brick in her purse.
Getting double teamed by a dedicated couple? Double fist to the face for each of them. But no matter what you have to do to stay alive this Black Friday, just make sure you don’t fall to the ground or Karen will stampede the shit outta you.