Ahhh yes, it’s national pizza day! America’s *arguably* favorite food. We get it, you wanna go out and celebrate with a slice for lunch or maybe a share a pie for dinner. But please, do yourself a favor and celebrate correctly. As a pizza purist, I get really frustrated when people eat Domino’s, Beach Pizza, Rocco’s, Pizza Hut or any one of these shitty chains and claim it’s “amazing pizza.” It’s not!! Who are you fooling?!?! Domino’s is like if someone took real pizza, ate it, and then defecated it back into the cardboard box. There’s your pizza. It’s a complete bastardization of cuisine and culture and as an Italian-American, I might even call it racist (okay, I actually wouldn’t, but you get my point for hyperbole).
These chains are not real pizza! That’s like having national burrito day and getting your burrito from a Taco Bell when you have a lovely Mexican place right around the corner. Do you not see the hypocrisy!!
Instead, opt for a real, traditional Neapolitan style pizza… one you can get from a reputable establishment like Pizzana, L’Antica Pizzeria da Michele, Pizzeria Mozza or if you’re in the mood for a slice or two, even Prince St., Joe’s or The Good Pizza. These pizzas are guaranteed to be made by pizzaiolos who love and respect the art of pizza, rather than some asshole who gets paid minimum wage to shove pre-made frozen dough through a conveyor oven (I think I actually just vomited in my mouth a little). Please, for the love of God, do us all a favor, have some class and avoid all the shitty pizza chains on National Pizza Day. You’ll be glad you did.