Earlier this month Muskegon, Michigan resident, David Olson, was doing minor foundational work to his home when he discovered something strange buried beneath the house. After removing a few cinderblocks from a damaged set of stairs on his porch, Olson found a cluster of, you guessed it, bowling balls. I mean what else would you use to build the foundation of a home in which your wife and children reside?
What’s crazy is it wasn’t just a 2 or 3 bowling balls… It was 160! The first question obviously has to be why would someone bury 160 bowling balls under the foundation of their house. But honestly all I wanna know is who the fuck has 160 bowling balls?! The shitty Brunswick bowling alley down the street barely has 20, let alone 160. That’s exactly why you have to find that one special ball and fight off the pizza party of 10 year olds when they try to steal it from you.
Olson learned the last and only other owner of the house passed away in 2016 so the Brunswick mastermind was unavailable to explain himself. Best guess is the guy must’ve worked at some factory or something that made bowling balls and instead of ponying up the money for cement he probably just smuggled a shitload of them to toss in and fill in the foundation gaps.
Either this guy was the John Wayne Gacy of bowling balls or the biggest skimp known to the Muskegon, Michigan region. Nonetheless, I’d advise you all to avoid using large balls to support the structure of your house and “spare” yourself the hassle of a collapsed home.