Famed billionaire and Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, escaped the Earth’s atmosphere this morning becoming only the second rich douchebag to flex their ability to reach space. With a price tag of $28 million to ride along with Mr. Clean’s scrawny cousin it’s safe to say most of us won’t be able to reach the outer layer’s of space anytime soon. However, one thing we can do in the meantime is marvel at the fact that Bezos’s rocket looks exactly like a giant metal dick.
I mean seriously! This rocket looks like the Iron Giant’s dick. I doubt they designed a rocket with a long shaft and massive mushroom top without letting out a few giggles. These scientists knew what they were doing when they shot a huge genital-like spacecraft into orbit. I honestly think this was either a huge error in “aerodynamic” design, or the biggest flex to any aliens out there in the history of space travel. Since it’s called the Blue Origin, if this thing had balls would they be blue balls? Bottom line, the rocket came back safely with all passengers and no apparent issues. So what does this mean? At the moment, the penis shape is most advanced spacecraft design in the modern era of intergalactic travel. Chalk that up to a win for the boys. Thanks, Bezos.