It’s My Birthday, Bitches!

Happy national Kyle Day! A.K.A. my 25th birthday. Yes, I’m at my quarter life crisis. No, I’m not planning on dying my hair and changing my “image” to cope with life being 25 years behind me. It’s been an interesting last few birthdays, to say the least. COVID has pretty much blended the last 2 years completely together so in my mind it almost feels like I just jumped from 22 to 25. I’m sure all of you can relate.

Regardless, this year I don’t give a fuck about COVID. I’m gonna celebrate 25 like I’m Jordan Belfort on my honeymoon in Vegas. Yes, I’m going to Vegas for my birthday. How original. What’s funny is I’m actually staying at the Mirage like Jordan did, but I don’t plan on doing $3 million worth of damage to the entire 21st floor. Honestly I probably won’t even drink the water bottles from the mini fridge just to save a few bucks. But hey, I haven’t made my millions yet. In due time.

I think I can say with absolute certainty that my 24th year was fairly flaccid. 2 COVID variants, mask mandates, closed bars and pretty much life in general left in uncertainty, waiting for the next obstacle to completely interrupt my early 20’s. Well now I’m mid, as Brockwell has said before. MID! My mid 20’s are going to be absolutely fucking legendary.

I’m finally going to hit some goals. With the world opening up I’m slowly getting back into stand up comedy, I’ll hopefully sell a script in the near future. Until then, today you can find me slamming Monsters, punching dry wall and having the best fucking 25th birthday I can. Happy national Kyle day, ya filthy animals!