Ahhh Italy, the land of incredible history, amazing food, and unnecessarily, ridiculously hot police officers. That’s right, what the fuck is up with law enforcement in Italy? (I’m half-Italian, I have license to shit on it). Every one of these guys look like they just stepped out of a Gucci catalog. I’ve never seen police so not ready to walk the beat, it’s insane. I’m straight, but even as a straight guy, I can appreciate the intense metrosexuality of Italian law enforcement. Just look at them.
Italy is the only place in the world where the police are, at all times, perfectly tanned, their hair is perfectly styled, they’re wearing Prada sunglasses and smoking a cigarette, all while holding an assault rifle. They’re just hot. Unbelievably and unnecessarily hot. They spend more time styling their outfits than actually enforcing the law. That’s probably why nobody has gotten a speeding ticket in Italy since… well, ever.
Meanwhile, with most cops in America, sometimes you can’t tell if they’re wearing a bulletproof vest or just went in on some Cinnabon. There’s a reason for the stereotypes about cops and donuts. I’ve never seen a Paul Blart looking Italian cop.
When they’re not busy looking so hot. They spend most of their time busting counterfeit olive oil rings. Seriously, in 2019 the Italian police set up a sting operation and arrested 24 people for selling over 150,000 liters of fake olive oil. I mean, can you name a more Italian crime? (minus Prime Minister Silvo Berlusconi and whatever weird sex scandal he was invloved in that week).
Oh and by the way, they also casually drive around in their decked out police Lamborghini’s. The Italians… gotta love em.