It Should be Illegal for a Goalie to be This Hot

I ‘m going to be very honest here as a hockey player: Goalies are complete psychopaths. I love them, but, my God, are they corky mofos.  We have a serious situation here.  Mikayla Demaiter, a Canadian ice hockey goalie, might be the most drop dead gorgeous goalie to ever skate the face of the earth.  

How can someone be this attractive while also being a complete nut job? Who would want to stop a rock hard hockey puck launched at 70+ mph while also being hot enough to secure the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition for the next 5 years in a row? I love hockey and I understand wanting to play, but why be a goalie?  

If I were her, I would much rather star in a movie or be the next Bachelorette. I commend her for loving hockey but I am completely terrified that someone as crazy as a goalie can be this hot.  She could start World War III if she wanted to. 

On the bright side, she just announced that she has a free OnlyFans…. Not that I would know anything about OnlyFans or how to subscribe, but I am sure most guys would love to see whats going on there.  One can only imagine that it would be the most no brainer subscription so far this year.