As a “young professional” occasionally attempting to be “young and professional”, I occasionally find myself checking out LinkedIn to see the latest on what’s happening in the business world. Instead, what I most often find, are assholes my age just circle jerking themselves off about the latest project they are “honored and thankful” to be a part of. All while literally not being able to do the most basic of workplace tasks. With people our age, it’s all branding… no substance. Seriously, LinkedIn has just become a massive pissing contest about people trying to one-up each other, it’s toxic and most often, so not real. Everyone’s “About Me” section reads as a thesaurus of shit that people don’t actually know what it means.
It’s just straight cringe to see those excessively humble-braggy posts that don’t really accomplish anything other than telling the world you got a promotion and you’re better than everyone else. But the weird thing is, these people are usually not. I know people that are exclusively super good at “LinkedIn”, yet have no actual, discernible workplace skills. They just get a million likes for posting about how “thankful” they are to have whatever flashy-sounding job they might have in that moment. Yet they actually can’t accomplish basic real-world human interaction and social skills.
It also changes the dynamic to make someone’s Title, the most important thing about them. Not actually what they do or what they can contribute to the overall world. You’re a “VP of OPERATIONS?” Great, can you go run a globally-synchronized Fortune 50 company? I didn’t think so… you’re 24 and last weekend, someone had to hold your hair back as you projectile vomited all over the bar bathroom floor. We all know you don’t have your shit together as much as you want your boss (or peers) to think you do.
Also, the problem is that as a professional platform, LinkedIn is actively used by executives and employees across all generations. Meaning the internet decorum is vastly different. You know your Uncle Bill on Facebook who will comment “Nice Tits” on a meme and everyone just accepts it because “Oh, it’s ol’ Uncle Bill”, well the same thing applies for LinkedIn. Nobody cares about what strategy you learned in your last internship at Deloitte. You just want to make that kid from Psyc 101 five years ago feel insecure about having a shitty sales role. Don’t feel shitty, Craig. Ignore those assholes on LinkedIn commenting with their fancy-schmancy “work/life lessons” and forge your own path, you’ll be glad you did.
(P.S. – if you could endorse me for “blogging” on LinkedIn after this, it would be much appreciated, thank you 🙂