I’m Going To Be A Cop

Lately I’ve been thinking about different careers that would be fun and good for the community. I have decided that I want to be a cop for a few key reasons. Today, a cop passed me in stopped traffic with his lights on. Aside from the fact that I would thoroughly enjoy the abuse of power, here are my top reasons why I would love to be a cop.

First off, I have a need for speed. With 6 speeding tickets on my record right now, its safe to say I haven’t learned my lesson. I think the best move for me personally is to become a cop so I can speed around 24/7. There is nothing better than doing 85 in a 40 so for me this is the best option. Also, I would love to pull people over who cut me off while driving. At least I can ruin their day a little bit.

Next, I would like to be a cop so I can straight up cut everyone in line. Cops literally never wait in lines. As an exceptionally impatient person, I would use this to my advantage. I would cut the line and if people confront me about it I would just say, “You want to go to jail right now?”. This is a total slam dunk and couldn’t work out better for me.

I looked on eBay and their are a lot of old cop cars online so I might just buy one. I have a leftover Reno 911 outfit with short shorts also so that should work fine. Ill let you all know how it goes.