If you could only have one cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be?

As a true lover of trying new cuisines from around the world (as evidenced by my “World Food: LA” blog series), I believe that different region’s food has the power to bring us all together. However, today, when posed with the very poignant question of “if you could only have one cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be?” I couldn’t help but be a little stumped. I mean there are just soo many good ones. And I’ve had a fair amount of the world’s cuisine to feel like I can accurately weigh in on this topic. First thing’s first, you’re gonna want variety. If this is the only cuisine you’re gonna be allowed to eat for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you’re going to want one that isn’t a whole bunch of the same boring crap for every meal (looking at you boring British potatoes). So without further ado, let’s evaluate the best of the best cuisines to see, if it were up to me, if I could only have one, everyday, for the rest of my life, which cuisine would I choose?

Mexican

I love Mexican food. From tacos, to quesadillas to burritos and even asada fries, Mexican food has my heart. But I seriously don’t know if I could eat it all day, everyday, for the rest of my life. It’s soooo heavy and greasy. Seriously, name a Mexican entree that doesn’t leave you feeling like a bomb went off in your stomach after finishing it. But as good as it is, although this might be a hot take, Mexican food lowkey just the same few flavors wrapped in different variations of tortilla (I mean how many ways can you arrange rice, beans and cheese?!?!). And sure, while Mexican food is definitely the most amazing comfort food, unfortunately, due to the lack of variety, it’s gonna be a hard nada to eating only Mexican food for the rest of my life.

Hawaiian

Have you ever been to Hawaii? There are only two types of men, you’re either ridiculously buff and carved like an Island God. Or you’re a 400 lb sumo mountain of a man. There’s no in between. And the even crazier thing, they’re both fueled by the same hearty cuisine of delectable Loco Mocos, Kailua Pork Sliders and BBQ Plates filled to the brim with Mac Salad. As delicious as Hawaiian food is, I have never ONCE felt good about myself after eating a meal of Hawaiian comfort grub. And for that reason, there’s no chance in hell I could ONLY eat Hawaiian food for the rest of my life. Chances are I’d end up looking like a local momona.

Japanese

Look, I love hibachi as much as the next guy, but I could not do it every day. Ramen is great, sushi is bomb, plus Japanese snacks and cakes are lowkey really good. But that’s it, there’s no really outstanding factor. It’s cool as a novelty, but I really don’t think I could live off solely Japanese food. I feel if I limited myself to eating only Japanese food, I’d seriously hate not being able to eat everything else, more than I’d actually enjoy eating solely Japanese food. So I think that’s a pretty solid barometer for if a cuisine is good enough to sustain me for the rest of my entire life. Therefore, it’s a no from me.

Chinese

Okay Chinese food is chill but… what about breakfast? Seriously, what does a Chinese breakfast look like? If you can’t include one breakfast in your “rest of life” cuisine, it’s a hard no from me.

American

See, now this is a tough one, because for all intents and purposes- America is a melting pot. I mean what’s more American than eating a breakfast burrito (Mexico), pizza (Italy) and General Tso’s chicken (China) all in one day? So I feel like saying, “Ohhh yeah, I’ll just eat American food every day for the rest of my life.” Is such a massive cop out. Breakfast-wise, we pretty much stole pancakes and waffles from the Dutch and Belgians. So in terms of things that totally originated in the states… we’ve got hamburgers, hot dogs… does BBQ count? Oooooooh some BBQ is fire, but imagine a month of back to back to back ribs, brisket, pulled pork? That would seriously do me in. So as much as American cuisine is like an All-Star lineup of the best of everything from around the world, it’s almost too easy. It’s unfair, and unfortunately gonna have to be disqualified from the question at hand.

Indian

With so many flavors, you certainly wouldn’t get bored. But at the same time, I’d like to keep my rectum intact. The firey Indian spice day after day, night after night would seriously do a number on my bottom. Indian food is like Japanese food. Cool for novelty, but not for practicality. Nope.

German

Schnitzel and beer sounds phenomenal… but not every day. Sure you can switch it up with some sausage and a pretzel, but the joke about white people not eating anything with seasoning (or discernable flavor) definitely rings true with German food. It’s a nein from me.

French

Oooh la la, fancy French food? Now we’re on to something. Croissants? Check. Steak frittes? Check. Crepes? Check. A hearty and sustainable cuisine. However, as great as it would be, the butter alone would kill you. Plus, just once I’d want my French food served without a side of pretentiousness. I get that it’s elegant, but it’s really missing the comfort aspect of “comfort food” and that’s something I don’t think I’d be able to survive on from an everyday perspective. Next.

Italian

Have you ever been to an Italian restaurant and not left satisfied? I mean there’s a reason you can find pasta and pizza in every country on earth. Italian food is by far the prime cuisine and easily the best one to eat every day for the rest of your life. Forget just pizza and pasta (which is hard to forget) but Italian cuisine is sooo much more. With the fresh, light ingredients of the Mediterranean diet, you won’t feel like it’s a chore to eat every meal. Everything from, the lighter risottos and chicken cutlets from the North, to the hearty Bistecca alla Fiorentina Steak from Central Italy, and finally the red sauce heavy pastas and pizzas from the South, Italian cuisine has something for different for every taste bud, every day of the week. Plus, you can’t forget the amazing seafood from both coasts as well as the hearty antipasto meat plates, and delicious sandwiches. Also, dessert anybody? From cannoli, to tiramisu, to all the cakes and cookies you can imagine, if you’ve got a sweet tooth you cannot go wrong with Italian cuisine. If you say anything other than Italian food would be your go-to cuisine, you’re lying to yourself and the world.