How to Date an Olympian

With the 2020 Summer Olympic Games getting underway this weekend in Tokyo, now more than ever I’m reminded of the intense and intimidating sport of talking to women. Especially, women olympic athletes. I mean how does one even get the chance to spit game with one of these superhumans?

Step 1: Be ridiculously good looking, athletic and in the social circles of the world’s elite.

If you have a hard time achieving step 1 (like myself), maybe try this to get yourself on a date with a badass Olympian.

Here’s how to do it, without even leaving the comfort of your couch (which as a lazy-ass, non-Olympian American, you’re probably parked on right now). First, get on your dating app of choice (for me, it’s Hinge). Then, change your location IMMEDIATELY to the Olympic Village in Tokyo. In no time you’ll be right swiping and hearting the most genetically gifted people in the WORLD. How often do we have such an incredible opportunity to put ourselves face-to-face with the best the world has to offer? This is the chance for us normies to finally meet the hero women that make our country proud.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go set my Hinge to Tokyo and find myself a decathlete.