How To Date After Covid

After spending most or all of quarantine alone, most singles are vaxed, waxed and ready to re-enter the dating pool post-pandemic. And with cuffing season quickly approaching, it’s the perfect time to start dating again. Here are a few tips and tricks for helping you get back out there.

Use dating apps. Tried and true, dating apps are a great way to meet/match with someone, have a repetitive conversation about “what you’re up to today”, and then never speak again. And you’re lucky if your conversation even lasts that long. Most matches end at the match with neither person messaging first. Gotta love a classic stalemate. 

Date in person. Try dating the traditional way, the way our parents and grandparents did it. Of course, this would mean actually having to socialize, which is not ideal. And even worse, it would involve having to leave your home and the throne of McDonald’s wrappers that is your couch. Which is also not ideal.

Honestly, the best option is to just stay at home, never speak to anyone again and die alone. If this pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that you don’t need a romantic partner when you can have a vibrator shipped to your front door overnight. Thanks, Jeff Bezos, you’re a real zaddy.