It’s officially one week from Thanksgiving, which means it’s time to check in on how your leftovers are doing. Are they smelling weird yet? Are you still holding out for every last bite? Many people wanna ride their leftovers as long as they can, and I don’t blame them. We can all agree that nothing slaps more than the day after Thanksgiving, leftover sandwich. But seven days after Thanksgiving… the clock is a-ticking, people!!
Desserts were the first thing to go, easy. I’m pretty sure that by the Sunday evening following Thanksgiving, not a single dessert from Thursday remained. I’m fairly confident I housed like half a loaf of pumpkin bread all by myself (pumpkin bread, not pumpkin pie. Huge difference. The pie is a crime against humanity. The bread is autumn deliciousness). The pumpkin bread and mashed potatoes, were obviously the first things to get deleted.
So, a week after cooking, many people have to face the hard truth. It may be time to throw out those oh so good leftovers. Here, rapper, Piles, eloquently breaks down the timetable of how to eat, and eventually throw out, Thanksgiving leftovers.
He makes a great point. Most people wanna keep those leftovers in their fridge and really ride ’em out, as long as possible. But there’s most certainly a cap on the leftovers. “At some point, those leftovers got a expiration date on em.” Eating Thanksgiving leftovers one week after Thanksgiving might be the closest thing I can get to a brush with death (besides those poppers I took Thanksgiving Eve). So maybe it is time I face the truth and figure out how much longer I can keep milking these leftovers.
After the great “week-after Thanksgiving refrigerator audit”, I can confirm, I am still left with a whole turkey leg and thigh, a bowl and a half’s worth of butternut squash soup, some mac n cheese, just under half a pound of cranberry sauce (I seemed to be the only enjoyer of that in my family), a quarter pound of gravy, and negligible asparagus.
I gotta be honest, I don’t wanna touch that fucking turkey. Like, I don’t even really enjoy dark meat as it is, there’s not enough gravy in the world to smother on that week old turkey leg to get me to eat it like the supposed “man” I am. Call me a pussy but, turkey breast meat, only. But as much as I want to toss it out, knowing I’ll probably never enjoy eating it… something inside me feels bad about throwing out an entire turkey leg. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s cooked and smells fine. Maybe just shred it up and bite the bullet? It has to go somewhere. The cranberry sauce can stay, honestly I could probably leave it in the fridge till next Thanksgiving. And maybe the dog will enjoy some mac n cheese for lunch?
You know what, on second thought, I think I’ll just Doordash something.