The Poo Diaries: Unclogging

So heres the deal. This morning I clogged my toilet. It wasn’t pretty, but it wasn’t terrible. Sadly, my roommate and I clog our toilet more often that normal. This is due to many factors. Firstly, I recently won a sales contest where I was gifted a large package of various meats from Idaho. The steaks range from filet minion to top sirloin. Recently, my diet has consisted of only red meat so I’m not shocked this happened. We also clog the toilet due to other dietary choices which I would love to keep private.

When we first clogged our toilet, we didn’t have a plunger. Therefore, we had to utilize our problem solving skills learned from years of all boys Catholic school. This led us to only one option. A wire hanger. After 30-45 minutes of work, we finally managed to use a wire hanger to unclog our toilet. This process was grueling and quite vile, but the job was complete nonetheless. I would not recommend this method to any person, ever.

The next time we clogged the toilet, we elected to take a different approach. We boiled two large pots of water thinking it would go down the drain and loosen the sludge clogging the toilet. This was a catastrophic disaster. When we poured the water down there, the smell was as damaging as a concussion grenade used by your local SWAT team. We were nearly knocked out completely and the clogged toilet remained. This was a huge mistake on our part and we knew not to repeat it.

Finally, we bought a plunger. I used it this morning and it was a one pump chump. Worked like a charm. 10/10.