I’m not quite sure yet if I have the liver of a 50 year old man or just am finally getting a bit older, but either way it sucks. I’ve finally crossed over the threshold of adulthood: The grand territory of 2 day hangovers. Last weekend might’ve been a bit too aggressive of a bender for me, especially because it’s not Monday morning and I’m arguably just as hungover today as I was Sunday morning.
I always thought this milestone would at least take me until my 30’s to reach, but I guess 6 or so years of absolutely trashing my body with college binging and the occasional adulthood bender I’ve achieved the fast pass to ruining the start of the work week with the spins.
Seriously, this meme is the reality of my life now. Anything over 4 drinks and I’ll be waking up in the morning with a dull headache and hot flashes like I’m starting menopause or something. Never thought I’d have to hang up my skates so early but I guess I’m at a crossroads. I’ve earned my keep, don’t get me wrong. If I call it a career now there’s no doubt my jersey gets retired in the rafters with the rest of the bender greats. But do I still have a few years and a few beers left in me?
Gimme like 2 more days to answer that question. I’m literally sitting at my desk wrapped in a blanket right now reevaluating my drinking abilities and remembering all the dumbass DM’s and texts I’ve sent over the past 3 days. After all the cringe memories and gagging fits have ended around Wednesday this week I’m sure I’ll come to the same answer I always do once my body feels even the slightest bit better. I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!
What’s worse: getting stuck at the top of a roller coaster, or derailing from a roller coaster?
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