February 2, 2023

The Tap Daily

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FMK: Pancakes, Waffles and French Toast

Happy Saturday you filthy animals. This is the hardest FMK I will ever have to write. This is a tough call on any day, but especially on Saturday. What do you go with? Here is my FMK for Pancakes, Waffles and French Toast.

FUCK: I would fuck French Toast. While, in my opinion, French Toast is by far the tastiest out of the three options here, I feel that I couldn’t eat it forever. I associate French Toast with being young, alive and eager for something sweet. French toast slaps and dumping powdered sugar on it is always the move, but it is wildly unhealthy and I would gain at least 69 pounds if I ate it all the time. Also, French toast has the thick, stringy consistency I look for and feel comfortable with in my mouth.

Mary: I couldn’t live without pancakes. There is not a safer breakfast option other than pancakes and eggs. It makes the world go round. Pancakes have a variety of health benefits including nutrients, high in compound carbs, high in vitamin C and many others. For these reasons, I would Mary pancakes. They are the ultimate breakfast food.

Kill: Waffles are either really good or really bad. to me there is no in between. There are many waffle houses that overcook the outside with a soft center, which some people love. However, the consistency reminds me of a traumatic non-sexual situation that happened when I was a child. This left me scared for awhile and I can’t stomach the consistency of a poorly cooked waffle. For this reason, I’m out.

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