We’re back with another segment of Fight Night Fridays! Last week’s winner, Lizzo, came as an obvious choice to most, so this week we’ve decided to spice things up a bit. But rather than throwing two singers with absolutely no hands in the ring with each other, it’s time to add a contender who knows a thing or two about the fighting game. So, who would win in a fight: Mike Tyson, or the entire K-Pop group BTS?
Starting first in the red corner, standing at 5’11” and weighing in at 218 lbs, fighting out of Brooklyn, New York, “Iron” Mike Tyson! There’s are far and few more polarizing boxers in the history of the sport than Mike Tyson. Iron Mike became the youngest champion in heavyweight history at just 20 years old and broke records across the board with his fast finishes. I mean the man had 44 knockouts in his career. 44! Add that to his unbeatable right hook and quick head movements and you have a prime Mike Tyson who’s absolutely unstoppable… Unless you’re Buster Douglas. So how does one of the greatest heavyweight boxing champs of all time compare to his opponents? Let’s find out.
FIGHTING! In the blue corner, standing at an average height of 5’10” and weighing in at an average of 140 lbs, fighting out of Seoul, South Korea, BTS! Obviously these guys are no boxers. The fem-fad kpop group often relies on their looks and angelic voices to do the talking for them, but in this bout their fists will do the walking. Even though they each weigh next to nothing compared to their opponent, they do stand at a decent height of 5’10” which gives them a solid reach to land a few jabs. And with a total of 7 members, their advantage is obviously numbers.
So who would win this bout? Well this is a lion versus 7 hyenas. I see the fight starting off with the BTS gang slowly picking at Tyson with quick jabs, testing his defenses and looking for weaknesses like raptors pecking at the electric fence in Jurassic Park. Tyson knocks out at least 2 members with quick right hooks, ending the first round with only 5 remaining BTS members. After a grizzly few middle rounds, the BTS bad boys have worn away at Tyson’s stamina and begin landing significant body blows and the occasional hit to the head, but Tyson’s shear power and rage-driven agility become apparent in the final rounds. In the end, Tyson starts picking them off one by one and eventually knocks every single one of the BTS boys out cold. The final result, a 5th round 7x knockout victory for the unstoppable “Iron” Mike Tyson. In this fight, the lion not only gets the W, he knocks the hyenas the fuck out.