Ohhhkay guys, here we go. Time to address the HUGE elephant in the room. We’ve been lied to and now everybody else is lying to each other. The uncomfortable truth is that nobody actually enjoys IPAs. Everyone just pretends to so they can seem “cool” and “unique” when in reality, IPAs are absolutely gross. Why is it hazy? Why is anything “hazy”? I don’t want my drink to be anywhere near “hazy”. IPAs taste like you’re drinking straight from a woodchipper and I know you think the same way.
Let’s call it for what it it is… Hops this and barley that and yeast up my ass and around the corner, it’s not great, it’s purely a status symbol. And sure while Lagunitas is on the soft end of the spectrum, NOBODY actually wants a Triple IPA. I guarantee you if you gave someone a blind taste test between your fanciest-schmanciest, hipsteriest triple IPA and a Bud Light, they’d choose Bud, every time.
Someone handed me a LaGunitas once and I couldn’t tell them I thought they tasted like toxic runoff, so I just nursed the bottle until the end of the evening and promptly discarded it down the bathroom sink. Seriously, I’d rather be sober than have to sip through an IPA.
And I’m not alone… when cleaning up the morning after a party, sure there’s gonna be empty beer cans everywhere, except you can pretty much guarantee that Every indie-windie, artisanal crafted IPA will be the only beers that are still like 95% full the next morning. Further evidence, NOBODY actually likes these things.
Next time you’re at a bar and your buddy orders an IPA just trying to be the cool one, ask him… Ask him if he really likes it. Stop with these lies people. Enough’s enough.