It has been three short years since Bill Cosby was sentenced to serve his time in prison for a shocking amount of sexual assault and drugging accusations. The accusations against Cosby were so egregious I, like many others, assumed that he was done for; destined to spend the rest of his life rotting in a jail sell. The public opinion of Cosby was swayed so quickly that in just a matter of days he went from being ‘America’s Dad’ to ‘America’s Date-Raper.’ He was not longer ‘Bill Huxtable,’ he was now ‘Bill I’m-going to-Drug-You-able.’ The world watched Cosby’s abrupt demise, and we all dusted our hands off after putting him away for what we thought was forever.
If you’re anything like me, I was almost as surprised as when I first heard the accusations, as when I saw a picture of him waltzing down the street two days ago. That’s right, just this week Cosby walked away free from his sentence. He not only walked away from it, but also did so in a horrifying manner that read, “You all fucked up!” Many ask, “How is this possible?” “How could a man who has done such terrible things walk away free?”
Many have attempted to explain how this could be possible in our legal system, and have delved deep into the perfectly logical explanation how exactly this occurred. But to save you all the legal mumbo-jumbo, Bill Cosby was basically released because he is RICH AND FAMOUS. Do you really think this would happen to anyone if they weren’t Bill fucking Cosby? The explanation being put forward is that the judge had promised in a previous trial not to charge Cosby with criminal charges. I guess this judge had just forgotten about this very casual promise, and said “My bad” and took the cuffs off.
Needless to say people, and especially the one’s who spearheaded to #MeToo movement, are up in arms about Cosby’s release. And rightfully so, this man is clearly guilty of his crimes and has affected countless people with his twisted shit. But am I as shocked as everyone else? Not at all. It wouldn’t make much sense that someone who has committed crimes of this degree could be released after such a short time in jail, but it does make sense if that person has a net worth of $400 million. Unfortunately, we don’t play by the same rules as these cats, it’s the same reason no one noticed when Caitlyn Jenner murdered someone with her car in 2015.
But what’s going to happen now? Are we about to see a reprise of the Cosby show on network television? Are we about to pay an absurd amount of money to watch an all-new Cosby stand-up special where we all laugh this off? Or will Bill return to his tirade and make the courts wish they had never made that pinky-promise? Personally, I think we should forget about him. You can’t go from America’s Dad to rapist and then back to America’s Dad again. In my mind Bill is still locked away somewhere telling pudding-pop jokes that no one can hear.