March 31, 2023

The Tap Daily

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Bloody Mary’s are gross and easily the worst brunch beverage of all time

glass of alcoholic beverage with garnish on ribbed surface

Photo by Charlotte May on

delicious bloody mary cocktail garnished with lemon slice
Photo by Charlotte May on

It may be an unpopular opinion… but I’m going to say it. Bloody Mary’s are gross and easily the most overrated, unnecessary brunch drink.

For the life of me, I can’t understand… what is the hype? They look gross. They taste awful. Who wants to drink something that should be stewed in a pot for six hours? It’s like if someone threw vodka in cold chicken broth and called it a “fall cocktail.”

Going through the list of ingredients, it reads like a grocery list for someone who is filling up the pantry in a CIA torture chamber. Vodka, tomato juice, hot sauce, horseraddish.., most of these ingredients aren’t good on their own, who the hell thought it would be a bright idea to put them all together?!? And enjoy with cinnamon rolls? Cinnamon rolls?!? The only thing I can think of that would compliment a cinnamon roll (or literally any other brunch sweet) less is a Bloody Mary.

There are so many other drinks I could think of that I’d rather enjoy brunch with… a mimosa, a Screwdriver, a Bellini, hell even a God damn milkshake! Why the hell would anyone voluntarily drink this vodka-tomato shitshow?

Bloody Mary’s have no room in our brunches and in our society. I’m taking a firm stand here to abolish Bloody Mary’s from every brunch I attend, moving forward.

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