Okay, heres the deal. Everyone thinks farts are absolutely hilarious. This is a fact that I have come to know and understand over the years. However, its not always appropriate to let one rip. There are certain situations that its just unacceptable to fart due to the smell or overpowering sound. Church, class or funerals are common situations that you need to sneak one past the crowd…. But how do we do it?
First, you could always fake cough or sneeze to cover the sound. This is pretty reliable as those around you will notice the loud noise you make for a common and acceptable bodily function. Though, if the fart smells, you are in a tough spot. Also, if you choose to hide a fart this way, sometimes you just end up with more pressure build up causing the fart to launch out of your asshole at a higher rate of speed causing it to be even louder than initially planned. Tread lightly with this option.
Next, you can blame someone else. This is always a hilarious option especially if the fart smells like shit. You can publicly shame others and create a funny situation to enjoy. Sometimes people will get very upset by this and you open yourself up for retaliation which can be dangerous depending on the person you blame. Be careful with this also because if you blame to many people on a regular basis then everyone will start to realize that really you’re the person thats constantly shitting themselves.
Lastly, and my personal favorite, you can straight up own it. Owning a fart is always funny. You can fart near or on others and immediately start laughing at them. If it smells its always a plus but there is nothing funnier than cutting a loud one right in someones fucking face. Its a personal joy of mine and it establishes dominance and prestige. Not to quote Nike, but just do it.