Last night, I took my first venture into a movie theater in over a year and a half to see the new Bond movie. And to be honest, while I’m not the biggest Bond/action movie fan, it mainly just felt nice to be in a theater again watching a huge release with other people. However, it reminded me how fucking ridiculous theaters are with their price gouging.
Ok yeah, 21 bucks for a ticket to see a movie and sit in a theater again is fine…. It’s actually ridiculous, but after a year and a half of not being able to sit in a theater, and seeing how the theaters have struggled through covid and declining attendance, I’ll gladly pay it to watch a blockbuster like Bond. (In my opinion, the perfect price for a movie ticket is $12.50, but we all know nothing close to that is ever gonna happen in LA, so I might as well shut up about it). But the concessions?!?! That’s where it gets absolutely ludicrous. I filled up a cup from the fountain with water, WATER! And they were gonna charge me $6.50. I said no, fuck that, I left that cup right on the counter, where it belonged.
That’s why I’m actually glad I snuck in the rest of my snacks for the movie. I could’ve paid $5.50 for a box of cookie dough bites, but luckily I stopped into CVS beforehand and got a bigger box of the exact same clusters for only $1. Gotta be smart with these guys. Tbh, I’m usually a “Buncha Crunch” guy, but after not being in a theater for so long and never really having the opportunity to try the Cookie Dough clusters, and as a fan of cookie dough, I figured why not. Might as well try it. Who knows when the next time I’m gonna be in a movie theater is? Thankfully, it hit the spot. Also mixed some in with the popcorn for an awesome salty/sweet treat.
Don’t even get me started on the alcohol prices, a beer is $9!! Glass of wine is $12! It’s almost as bad as a baseball stadium. That’s why I went on the offensive and snuck in two of these mini pinot grigio bottles (750 m each) from Woodbridge.
At 12% alcohol per bottle, I got these from my local convenience store, 4 for $10, and I think it was the best deal of the night. These wine shooters pack more punch than a beer and are easier to smuggle in than trying to fit an entire wine bottle inside your jacket. Highly recommend next time you’re going to the movies to keep it classy and sneak in your booze.
There is nothing like hot, buttery, crunchy, movie theater popcorn, and aside from the movie itself, I would argue that the popcorn is the theater’s most valuable asset. Sure you could bring in a bag of Skinny Pop that you bought from the 7-Eleven outside, but it’s just not the same. So this is the one purchase I don’t actually mind spending money on in the movie theater. Thankfully a small (which is the regular amount that any normal human needs), is only $5.
So there you have it, get your small popcorn at the theater… and sneak in literally everything else. Hot dog? Smuggle from Costco. Booze? Stuff some shooters in your sock. What are they gonna do? Kick you out?