Applebee’s vs. Olive Garden: Which is Better?

You’re 10 years old and the soccer team your parents signed you up for just finished its final game. It’s celebration time baby. No more orange slices and Rice Krispy Treats. This is the big leagues, and it deserves a big venue. When it comes to average American eats, Applebees and Olive Garden are THE goats. But which one deserves the title as number one?

I mean come on, unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks? Olive Garden has always knocked it out of the ballpark when it comes to keeping its guests happy. I can vividly remember pulling up to an Olive Garden after a school field trip in the fourth grade, and my friend who forgot to bring twenty bucks was more than satisfied eating nothing but those golden rods of garlicy goodness. Its true that the older I got, the less appetized I was by frozen meatballs and fettuccine alfredo. Nevertheless, when you’re looking for some gabagool on a buget, Olive Garden takes the cake. After all, when you’re there, you’re family.

In the other corner you have Applebee’s (by the way, who the hell is Applebee?). What they lack in free caesar salad, they make up for in bountiful combo meals and killer appetizers. Seriously, if you haven’t had their soft pretzel sticks with beer cheese and honey mustard, you have not yet lived. Applebee’s screams ‘average,’ but I beg to differ. When it comes to drinks, this chain has it going on. What more could you want than a $1 margarita or Long Island iced tea? Yes the drinks are diluted as hell, and are probably mixed in a garbage bin next to the dumpster, but I dare you to find a better deal on drinks.

Seriously I would love to know.

When it comes to comparing the two, this is definitely a clash of titans. For me, it’s gotta be Applebee’s though, simply due to those muthafuckin pretzel sticks. However I am a man open to debate, and if you think I got it wrong, let me know in the comments.