People are constantly concerned about an alien invasion, or being beamed up by a UFO in the middle of the Nevada desert. Has it ever occurred to anyone that there’s a good chance that aliens have been here for decades? And would it surprise you that we are not only familiar with these aliens, but we celebrate them? It takes a keen eye to notice inconsistencies in some people’s behavior that alludes to their extraterrestrial origins. And of course these aliens are celebrities, if they are smart enough to infiltrate our society, they are smart enough to find themselves at the top of the most vapid and celebrated class of humans. Before you get ahead of yourself, its not Bezos or Musk, they’re just nerds; they only act like aliens. I’m talking full-on vertical blinking, neck-gill breathing aliens that now reside in the Hollywood hills. Here’s a very probable list of aliens we all know and love.
Dennis Rodman– Winning NBA Championships, chilling with authoritarian dictators, and sleeping with super models. Dennis not only clearly resembles an alien, but also exhibits behavior that is entirely un-human.
Billie Eyelash– Billie Eyelash is most definitely an alien, who had the foresight to see that humans enjoy music that resembles mumbled-coital groans centered on topics of teenage angst and big boobs. Not to mention her name, which clearly was generated by some Alien AI technology.
Tom Cruise– Tom Cruise is not concealing himself very well. The man hysterically laughs at apparently nothing, and jumps between buildings and hangs off airplanes. It’s also very possible that Tom’s big secret might not be his alien DNA, but cocaine.
Carrot Top– Who is he? Why is he famous? It’s not clear. There’s a good chance we’ve all been brainwashed by Carrot Top for years, and he’s convinced us that he is somehow relevant.
Kid Rock– We all know Kid Rock is not a human. The man makes music that makes no sense, his face makes no sense, and there’s no way a human could consume this much crystal meth and Jack Daniels and still be alive.